No more tears

I am having many moments lately that as a mother I must make a choice to either laugh or cry. K is having trouble sleeping day and night. This is something that we (T and I) have in some form or fashion been dealing with since her birth. I have spent years working with children with behavioral issues and I will be the first to take a favorite blankie away or just let my child cry it out if it means in a couple of days she will get it and no longer cry but nothing seems to work. Understand that there is absolutely no consistency or any rhyme or reason for when she will or won't sleep through the night or take a good nap. T and I find ourselves exhausted from hearing her scream in the middle of night or finding ourselves in a battle with her at nap time. The other night she was screaming and T thought she had fallen out of her bed by the sound of her scream....yes her screams are all meaningful! However when I got to her room she paused to think of a reason and then said she was "crying" because her room was dark (she had a night light on and the bathroom light was on in the hall....it was not dark). A few nights prior she was screaming in the middle of the night because, "I want my socks off". Yesterday she did not take a nap at school so I had the girls lay down when we got home. When I went to check on them S was sound asleep but K had taken her clothes off and put on a new shirt. After a little punishment for her actions of not laying down I came back later to find that she had taken all of her bedding off of her bed including the mattress cover and thrown it all on the floor. When I punished her again she asked me to put her blankets back on her bed for her. I said "no, you took them off you need to put them back on if you need them for your nap" to which led to more screaming and the awakening of her sister.

I talked to our pediatrician at the last check up about her sleeping inconsistencies and he said it is all behavioral and recommended a book. Thanks doc! On the book note, I guess my husband feels the same way because I received an email receipt 2 days ago where he had purchased not one but THREE books on child behavior. When I asked him about it he said "oh you saw that ....Merry Christmas!" I know this is his way of trying to be supportive and for that I am grateful but...I don't think K's instruction manual is in any of these books! Now that's something I would pay good money for but until it arrives I will continue to pray for wisdom, peace and rest.

I heard Steven Curtis Chapman in an interview tonight and he was talking about his daughter Maria and how she was their strong willed child. I think what really hit me though was when he followed this statement by how Maria was so full of passion. This is K to a tee. Passionate about everything, good and bad. My hope and prayer is that we don't ever smother this passion while controlling her behaviors. In the same way, I hope and pray S never looses her sensitivity and reservedness as we encourage her to be more confidant and less fearful. I know God has big plans for both of them and I am so glad we can trust in Him to help us down this road of parenthood!